A Guide to Healthy Relationships
Healthy Relationships Start with Respect
Relationships are an important part of life. They can include friendships, dating relationships, family relationships, teammates, classmates, and other people you spend time with.
Every relationship is different, but healthy relationships have something in common: you should feel safe, respected, supported, and able to be yourself.
Learning what healthy relationships look like can help you build stronger connections, recognize unhealthy behaviors, and know when to ask for help.
What Does a Healthy Relationship Look Like?
In a healthy relationship, both people should be able to:
Communicate openly and honestly
Listen to and respect each other's feelings
Set and respect boundaries
Spend time with other friends and family
Have different interests and opinions
Make their own decisions
Say “no” without feeling pressured or afraid
Work through disagreements respectfully
Trust each other
Feel safe being themselves
No relationship is perfect. Disagreements happen. What matters is how you treat each other when you disagree.
Know the Warning Signs
Some behaviors can be signs that a relationship is becoming unhealthy.
Pay attention if someone:
Constantly puts you down or embarrasses you
Tries to control who you talk to or spend time with
Gets extremely jealous or possessive
Pressures you to do things you don't want to do
Ignores your boundaries
Checks your phone, messages, or location without permission
Demands passwords or constant updates about where you are
Threatens you or makes you afraid
Blames you for their behavior
Keeps you away from friends or family
Uses guilt to get what they want
Hurts you physically or sexually
You don't have to wait for a relationship to become dangerous before asking for help. If something makes you uncomfortable, confused, pressured, controlled, or unsafe, talk to someone you trust.
Boundaries Matter
A boundary is a limit you set about what you are and aren't comfortable with.
You can have boundaries around:
Your body and personal space
Physical affection
Dating and sexual activity
Your phone and social media
What you share about yourself
Your time
Friendships and activities
You have the right to set boundaries, and other people have the right to set theirs.
Someone who respects you should not pressure, threaten, embarrass, or guilt you into changing a boundary.
Consent Is Important
Consent means freely and clearly agreeing to something.
Consent should be:
Freely given. You shouldn't be pressured, threatened, manipulated, or guilted into saying yes.
Clear. If you're unsure whether someone is comfortable, ask.
Ongoing. Agreeing to something once doesn't mean agreeing every time.
Reversible. Anyone can change their mind at any time.
A relationship, previous experience, or someone's past “yes” does not automatically mean consent now.
When in doubt, stop and ask.
Healthy Communication
Good communication doesn't mean you'll always agree. It means you can talk about disagreements without disrespecting or hurting each other.
Try:
Speaking honestly about how you feel
Listening without interrupting
Asking questions instead of making assumptions
Avoiding insults, threats, and name-calling
Respecting the other person's point of view
Taking time to cool down when needed
Apologizing and taking responsibility when you make a mistake
You can disagree with someone and still treat them with respect.
Relationships and Technology
Phones and social media can make staying connected easy, but being in a relationship doesn't mean giving up your privacy.
It isn't healthy for someone to:
Demand your passwords
Require you to share your location
Expect an immediate response to every message
Constantly check who you're following or messaging
Post pictures or private information without permission
Pressure you to send private or sexual images
Use social media to embarrass, threaten, or control you
Digital boundaries are still boundaries.
Check In With Yourself
Think about an important friendship or dating relationship in your life.
Ask yourself:
Can I be myself around this person?
Can I say no without being afraid of their reaction?
Do they respect my boundaries?
Can I spend time with other people?
Do I feel supported instead of controlled?
Can we disagree without threats, insults, or fear?
Do I feel safe around this person?
If several of these questions are difficult to answer, consider talking with a safe adult.
How to Help a Friend
Sometimes you may notice warning signs in someone else's relationship.
If you're worried about a friend:
Listen without judging them
Tell them you're concerned
Remind them they deserve to feel safe and respected
Don't blame them for what's happening
Encourage them to talk to a safe adult
Offer to go with them when they ask for help
Don't put yourself in danger by confronting someone who is threatening or violent. Getting help from a safe adult is a way to support your friend.
Find a Safe Adult
You don't have to figure out a difficult relationship by yourself.
A safe adult might be a:
Parent or caregiver
Teacher
School counselor or social worker
Coach
School administrator
Family member
Youth leader
Another adult you trust
If the first person you talk to doesn't help, tell another safe adult.
Remember
Healthy relationships should add positive things to your life—not make you feel afraid, controlled, pressured, or unsafe.
You have the right to:
Set boundaries.
Say no.
Have your own friends and interests.
Be treated with respect.
Ask for help.
Feel safe.
Resources
Love is Respect (National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline)
Call: 866-331-9474
Text: LOVEIS to 22522
Chat: https://www.loveisrespect.org
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
Call or text 988 for mental health support.
Crisis Text Line
Text HOME to 741741 to connect with a trained crisis counselor.
TeensHealth – Healthy Relationships
A helpful resource to determine if you are in a healthy relationship.
https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/healthy-relationship.html